Member-only story
Career anxiety often leaves me standing still. I don’t know what I want to do with my career. And I feel lazy for experimenting.
This summer, I left the US.
For 90 days, I said farewell to the culture I’ve known for almost two decades and dove headfirst into a new world. I learned a lot about myself and the world I lived in.
Bombarded with new stimuli, I simultaneously longed for the familiar and relished the new. Sitting in my childhood bedroom, I took time to reflect on my life and career. I quickly became nervous.
Because while I considered how I wanted to spend this upcoming year, I realized I didn’t want to play it safe. I applied to internships while I was still in Indonesia. I applied to places like General Motors and large consulting firms. When I think years down the line about working at these places, I can’t help but feel regret.
Yes, maybe working at a large company would be awesome and push me down an awesome career path. At the same time, though, I don’t want to. I want to build my own projects. I want to help people create more meaningful lives. I want to have ownership.
That scares me. Deep in my heart, reflecting on the idea of not following the default path, I can’t help but feel like I’m copping out, like I’m lazy. It’s not even a fear of…
