You are only a fossil. Or at least will be relatively soon. All of your life, all of those little and big moments, will be summed up by your fossil record. I don’t just mean the bone structure of what you once were; I mean the impact you left on the world. And that fossil will be composed of one entity: your actions. Not your thoughts, desires, or motivations — just action. Andrew Huberman introduced this idea to me in his podcast on the brain. It isn’t entirely unlike the practice of memento mori for the Stoics. Reflecting on death can be a powerful impetus for movement, and I think we can all agree that we want our fossil to have a positive impact. But how?
I have not been shy in espousing the pursuit of truth and growth at the expense of discomfort, but I haven’t had quite the vocabulary to describe why discomfort is such a useful tool. Yes, it helps you grow as you respond to new environments, but this loose schema of discomfort as a driver of growth leaves a lot to ask: how much discomfort is best? How we do stay uncomfortable?
Too much discomfort can lead to harmful outcomes (e.g., depression). Lukianoff and Haidt cover this in their book The Coddling of the American Mind: “Moderate stress buffered by supportive adults… may even be helpful, in that it can promote the development of coping skills. On the other hand, severe and chronic stress… can disrupt the basic executive functions that govern how various parts of the brain work together to address challenges.” Adversity in mid-range dosage can be incredibly helpful for individuals — especially if they approach it with the right mindset. Excess adversity, however, harms us. So, while the modern-age gurus often present discomfort as an individual’s holy grail, this message isn’t for most people: it’s for those living in developed world (probably in the upper middle class and higher) who likely have not had to undergo much stress in their life (comparatively). Still, in line with Yes Theory’s maxim, we should seek discomfort — but how we do we find the best medium between adversity and comfort to find growth? At the edge of chaos.
The edge of chaos is one of coolest names I think I have ever heard in my life. I can’t help but picture a hooded sage standing over a precipitous cliff with ominous clouds storming in the background. This “edge of chaos” is part of Chaos Theory, which I think can be best summed by the idea that systems may exhibit incredibly complex behavior but can be described by a simple rule set.
At the edge of chaos, systems are in a state of flux, not locking into their current organization but also not overthrowing their structure either. Waldrop, who wrote Complexity in 1992, sees the edge of chaos as the source of adaptation and growth: “The edge of chaos is where new ideas and innovative genotypes are forever nibbling away at the edges of the status quo, and where even the most entrenched old guard will eventually be overthrown… [It] is the constantly shifting battle zone between stagnation and anarchy, the one place where a complex system can be spontaneous, adaptive, and alive.” It is at this edge of chaos, at the edges of a system’s order, that new ideas force the system to adapt. This is where growth happens. Chaos theory sheds some light on the true value of discomfort: it forces our system to adapt in a way that can handle that discomfort. Discomfort is not a good within itself. Just experiencing discomfort for the sake of discomfort will not help you grow in the way you want to. Unfortunately, many of the YouTube gurus have pointed to discomfort as the ultimate prize, taking cold showers and denying themselves their basic needs.
I think the main source of confusion around discomfort stems from the idea that there is only one edge of chaos. You are a multifaceted individual with many abilities. You are a circular-like shape and at each edge of the circle, you can find the edge of chaos. Fighting at the edge of chaos in a specific region will support your growth in that region, but not across you on the other side of the circle. Taking cold showers may support one’s cold tolerance, but it will not help the battle with social anxiety. Discomfort is only as useful as it promotes relevant growth. That’s why instead of just chasing it, we should seek discomfort with identity in mind — remaining cognizant of the type of person we want to be and identifying growth opportunities to better shape ourselves to be that person.
