When we were young, everyone told us that we could be whoever we wanted to be. An astronaut, a lawyer, a musician, and even a trapeze artist were all fair-game. But, as we all got older, we realized that this wasn’t true. Expectations concerning prestige, wealth, and power began to compound around us, forming a brick wall that blocked our vision from our dreams and restricted our hopes to the confines of others’ expectations.
Sure, we had the opportunity to burst through the wall and pursue those dreams we always held close to our hearts, but we don’t. Instead, we choose to trade in our lives for less anxiety. This anxiety, of which, arises from fear of others’ disapproval.
It is amazing how much humans will give up to avoid anxiety. We throw away our hopes and aspirations, opting instead for the well-trodden path. We fear the uncertainty of the road not taken so much that we uproot our curiosity of who we could become and what we could do. We give up our lives to the expectations of family members, teachers, and friends.
This issue with this thinking, however, runs deeper than just a simple career choice. It is predicated on where we are deriving our happiness. When we choose to take the easy route, we give up the risk of not having the approval of others. We are safe. But, this easy route leaves us unfulfilled. We squander our potential.
Marcus Aurelius condemns this decision: “Everyone gets one life. Yours is almost used up, and instead of treating yourself with respect, you have entrusted your own happiness to the souls of others.” By deciding to take the well-trodden path over what we want to do with our lives, we make the concession that we do not hold the key to our happiness — we gave it to the capricious opinions of others.
So, to avoid living a life in which you hold no control, we must ask ourselves a question: who controls my happiness? If the answer isn’t you, it is time for serious reflection.
