Member-only story
Deep in my productivity phase, I became really uncomfortable if I wasn’t always doing something “productive.” Any down time I had before I declared it was the end of my day was time to be filled. I had to find a task — anything.
My happiness and self-worth was inextricably connected to my busyness. If you have a strong desire to be competent, you’ve probably felt this, too.
I would find something to do. An article to read. An “important” video to take notes on. But as I fell into burnout and I looked back on the work I was actually doing, I realized that the majority of it was ineffective.
I wasn’t accomplishing more by spending more hours working. I was simply drawing on my stores to do real, impactful work by doing tasks I thought were advancing me toward my goal but really just had me treading water.
The weird thing about the whole productivity movement is that while it’s supposed to save you time from work, it often insidiously encourages people to see productivity as the end, not as the means.
Realizing this, I changed the script. Instead of pouring more and more hours into work, I cultivated more and more hours for serendipity — times at which I would float wherever the world took me. It may look like picking up a book and reading it cover to cover because I’m bored…
